I think that this past year was one of those “I’m going to make as many mistakes with boys I date and talk to as I can and see how many I can actually get away with” phases in my life. The only thing is that before I realize I’m making a big mistake, I actually go in with good intentions.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret anything. These are all lessons that are slowly sinking in. Every guy that I’ve talked to in the last 6 months has treated me really well. In the beginning. But you know and I know why they do that.
I guess when people ask if I have a type, I say I don’t really have one. I just throw out a couple of physical things that I’d like my dude to have: be tall, be in pretty good shape, have earrings, dress well, have a tattoo, make me laugh, can keep up a conversation. Lol. This, my friends, is a recipe for disaster. The guys that I like basically look like complete d-bags and can sweet talk their way out of a blender. But the thing is that they don’t initially seem like it. They treat me well: buying me my meals when we go out to eat, be thoughtful and considerate, make me laugh, treat me the way that I want to be treated. They make me happy.
They make me happy up until they start making empty promises, lying to me, acting like complete assholes. So at this point, they’ve made me happy and they’ve really upset me. What do I do at this fork in the road? Do I keep going down the path where I stay with them and see if things turn around or do I leave before things get worse? Well, I’m a dumb bitch that’s a somewhat hopeless romantic and I think things will get better and maybe I’m just overthinking things and blowing up problems to be bigger than they are. No. I’m not overthinking things. My gut is right. They really are acting like d-bags because they are d-bags.
To be completely honest: I’m not ugly, I’m not dumb, I have goals, I’m ambitious. So fuck every guy that’s ever treated me like shit because I’m going to do better than you. This goes for every single fucking girl that’s ever been done wrong by a dumb boy. You’re fucking better than that and you don’t deserve to be treated any less than you think you should be. You might not find this guy now, or in the next couple of weeks, months, or maybe even years, but he’ll eventually come out of hiding. Be happy with yourself and be okay with being by yourself and before you know it, some guy is going to completely blindsight you from left field and sweep you off your feet. I can’t say it’s happened to me (obviously), but I’m not going to wait around for it to happen. I’m going to achieve goals that I set for myself and when it happens, it’ll happen. I believe it.
But for now, fuck boys, because I’m done with it and I give up. Let me know when a real man comes into my life.
Good day.
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